Life Is Beautiful

"Life is an occasion, Rise up to it."

Life is the Greatest of all Gifts. Life is Precious. Life is Hard. Life is Demanding. Life is Wonderful. Life is worth every single breathe that we are blessed to receive. Life throws at us unexpected curves and we are to find a way to make the best of them. This last year, may have been one of the best year for some & for others it may have been one of the worst. Either way, it really doesn't matter, now, because it's the past. Good, Bad or Ugly!!! Hopefully, I have learned whatever it is that I have needed to learn & this year will be one of Hope! But, more importantly I hope that I am a better person than I was a year ago.

Today is a blessing, that we have been given to better ourselves. I have no idea what tomorrow has in store for me. The most that I can do is pray & ask my Heavenly Father that whatever happens, tomorrow, next, week,next month & within the year, is that I will be blessed to be able to handle what ever come my way. Our Lord knows each one of us on a very personal level & he knows our strengths & weaknesses. In the Doctrine & Covenants 121:7-8, it says, "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." We are promised that we will not be tested more than we can handle.

Although, there have been times in my life, that I have truly felt like I could not go another day with my trials. Some how, I have managed to get up the next morning feeling like I could conquer the world. And then, other days, where I felt like the world was conquering me.

As, I think back, I will never forget one of those days, where I was being conquered. It was back in Oct of 1994. I will never forget that day. I have no idea what day it was. I just know that it was just about 2 weeks before my birthday. I needed to go & have the eye Dr sign my form, s o I could go & renew my drivers license. As, I got in there, he informed me that he wasn't sure if I was going to be able to renew it. Because, of my visual field test. He asked if I could come back the next day for a few more tests. There was a chance that I might not get my license, because of the eye disease that I have, RP, Retinitis Pigmentosa.

The next morning, I got up & got ready & met my aunt Shelley in Logan at the Temple. I will never forget the feelings that I felt there that day. I realized that I was not going to be able to renew my license. I felt very sad & depressed. yet, some how I knew that I was going to be alright, some way, some how.

Sure enough, I went in that afternoon & had another visual field test done & they came back conclusive. There was no way I was going to be able to get my license. My vision was not good enough. How could this be? This is not how my life was going to turn out? That night, was one of the bleakest & darkest nights of my life. I was broken hearted!!! I was not getting my license. It seemed that no matter how many times, I said it. The out come never changed. I began to cry, & then the cry turned into a sob that lasted from 5 pm until right around 2 am. At first all of my tears were tears over my license. I truly had to mourn this part of my life that would truly be changed forever! I could drive for the next 2 weeks, & then on Oct 30th, I was not allowed to drive, because I wasn't legal. I could go to jail. My vision wasn't going to change that much, yet, I could still drive until then. Driving is a privileged, it's a freedom that until it's taken away from you. You will truly never understand. I was only 20 years old, I had my whole life in front of me. How was I going to go on & continue to be a successful/responsible adult without a Drivers License? It's just not possible!!! Then, as the night went on, the tears changed. I realized that I was truly losing my vision! I WAS GOING BLIND!!!! How could this be? This is not the life that I had planned in my perfect world of dreams!!! Who would want to be friends with the blind lady? Better yet, who would want to marry & try to have a life with the blind lady?

Well, obviously, my life has continued, & I have been able to be a successful adult, at least I think so. I was able to serve a full-time mission for my church. I lived on my own in Provo for 5 years. I made some of the greatest friends any person could ever ask for. Then I met & fell in love with The Most Amazing Man who has loved me & all of my infirmities & weaknesses. We have been blessed to have 2 beautiful children. And I have .05% vision per eye, which for someone who has had RP for 20 years, is a complete miracle. Yes, I'm blind as a bat!!! I truly do struggle! I've had stitches just below my eye brow. I've had many different broken toes, sprained ankles, more than I would like to admit. I fall all the time & I'm running into things & tripping. But, this is my life! And nobody can take it from me! I'm still going to be stubborn & independent. I was born this way, I can't help that, at least not too much! I can only see 1% with both eyes, so I think that I have a pretty good excuse for being a klutz!!!

Life is challenging & Life can be hard! But, take it from the Blind Lady; Life it Truly BEAUTIFUL! I treasure each day that I have that I can see! There will come a day, when I won't be able to see the faces of my beautiful children. And, Yes, that breaks my heart & brings tears to my blinded eyes that none of you can even comprehend. However, I do know with ALL of my heart, that one day; sooner rather than later, my vision will be restored & I will get to see & more importantly feel the Love of an Amazing Father in Heaven; that knows that I can handle this trial or I would not have it at all.